whisky and saltines will dry you up inside I spent last night propped up on an elbow thinking about how you’ve never cried we’re all on your downtime but I’ve never seen you up at all been giving you deadlines that I’d never dreamed you could make take evasive action baby someone got too close to you you never know when some better wish comes true dense symbolic dreams will wake you up at night but you don’t need me whispering in your ear to know you’ve failed to fight them off my comfort is anodyne as long as you've worked out your exit plan attachment is asinine as long as you've lined up some other man I’m off to your house not knowing which one I’ll get the one with the heart or the one in her head the one who survives or the one who just bled appraised from a chair or entwined in a bed a nuclear scare or just neurotic dread a gaze or a glare or a glance I misread sometimes I go hungry sometimes I get fed underhanded schemes sometimes work out all right now someone else is calling you and you don’t seem to want me around at all

I'm dropping some bags at the Salvation Army no peace on Earth but there’s Goodwill till then I’m dropping some bombs at the Salvation Army the colonel says I’m one of his best men dropping my world off at the Salvation army pulling up slowly and I’m honking my horn dropping some old junk off at the Salvation Army an old man dies, a new one is born they say destruction is a form of creation I’ve never been sure if I thought that was true I’d say destruction’s a precursor to creation can’t keep it together so let’s fire off a few yeah I’ve torn down a lot but I never thought I’d have to do it to the two of us maybe I’ll kill some time and go in the store some silver lining on display in aisle four nah man I’m just tryin to pare down tear down my house I’ll build a new one and then you’ll come back and try to take apart my old house again

I took your picture caught how the sunlight was streaming in and falling over your shoulder inverted flicker cause I was the one naked and on my knees if you looked any closer oh, information! oh soft parade of accultured charm oh sweet ones and zeroes ersatz elation your little chimes full of soft alarm kept drawing me nearer I was the station you were the train that was pulling in and unloading your baggage oh aggravation! oh how I thought you’d be staying here oh great disadvantage I got resigned to the collapsing vision of a destiny manifesting too bluntly leave it behind you go west young man they say grow up with the country go west young man they say go west today where noone knows your shame towards sun-red skies I cross that dusky great divide never to return oh, but what a beautiful bridge to burn I kept your picture but I had to pull it from the gallery cause it feels like a downer I’m keeping busy I go to Powell’s and parks all day like a real out of towner I feel no forgiveness I’m still full of jealous contempt and rage all sickening and pointless but you’re all business you never really cared anyway you only enjoyed us go west young man they say go west today where they don’t even wait to learn your name before they say I’m sorry

don’t wanna treat you like some perfect being yeah we all know that’s not a thing don’t wanna treat you like some dead eyed consumer who’s only in it for the ring there are some people who to feel like themselves they need for you to treat them like dirt and there are some people once they’ve got you sewn up will put you down and mess with your self worth but I would never ever do that to you even though right now I kind of want to I’m the wreckage in somebody’s wake so I’d better play it safe don’t wanna fight with my friends over you just cause I can’t stand to be outdone don’t wanna trick you into feeling attached and then suddenly cut and run there are some people who to feel in control their best choice is to sleep around yeah and there are some people who are so full of shit you can’t believe that their eyes don’t turn brown but I would never ever do that to you even though right now now I kind of want to but I’m wreckage in somebody’s wake

if life is to smile let’s all go run in the rain some I heard that passion’s coming back in style better learn how to feign some and if it’s all a cryptic mystery let’s go steal the secret code and if we’re made of the stars let’s get ready to implode if life is a trial I’ve got too much to defend I’m so over denial cause we’re all found guilty at the end and if we’re all dirty and vile-lent let’s not hold on to haloes let’s find some virgins and try, try, try again to throw them into volcanos if you see me coming look the other way just look away from me we both know it would be a disgrace if anyone saw me laughing in your face if you see me coming walk the other way just walk away from me we both know it’s a disgrace but we can’t keep saving face forever if life is divine let’s all sit down and pray some once our heretics are carefully defined let’s grab our knives and go flay some if we’re lost in information let’s put our books back on the shelves and hitch our wagons to someone who’s got more answers than ourselves If life is a joke let’s give away the punchline let’s all go have a smoke and fuck each other and drunk drive if we’re all desperate and cruel better grow some thicker skin because really and truly you’re either a fool or you’re your own evil twin if you see me coming look the other way just look away from me we both know it would be a disgrace if anyone saw me spitting in your face if you see me coming walk the other way just walk away from me we both know it’s a disgrace but we can’t keep up this pace forever

it’s new years in Buckman but the same old destruction is whirling all over the room you’re nervous to face them so all that they’ll see is the storm that’s engulfing the midnight moon there’s a lightning arc between you and the ground you’ve got too much spark better throw some around cause all the fires you start they’re your works of art and it tears your brain apart to know you’ll be picking up after yourself till the day that you die it’s next afternoon and your new opportunity’s closing the back door behind why even bother to swear not another just lie to yourself that your man doesn’t mind and he’s sent you words says I missed you last night and you loved him at first so why not pretend it’s alright for as long as you can all the fires you start don’t they make you feel so fuckin smart but it breaks your heart to know you’ll be picking up after yourself till the day that you die

1987 1993 1997 1999 2003 2011 2017 2027 2029 2039 2053 2063 2069 2081 2083 2087 2089 2099

you were a native son of the suburbs way too slowly growing up you happened to glance out the window and see a package truck throwing cherry petals off its roof like confetti right then you knew it was on you to find diamonds in drops of rain and the rough mundane yeah that same refrain you thought you’d written it till they made you read Ferlinghetti and suddenly you found all the people around you didn’t hear the same sounds or feel the same things and something told you hey start getting ready to smash em all to pieces bring em to their knees as they learned to sing your words right on cue once the spotlight was following you a few years down the line you consented to school just to get away from the fools and sharpen your tools and help mom and dad sleep serene so you spent a few years learning ropes and notes by rote and smoking dope and stoking your hopes all while flirting with regression towards the mean but that factory farm for easy charm on K-12 job interviews felt like a noose around your muse so you took off your shoes and threw them in the machine you dropped out you moved to dream city as soon as you could you found a place in the former hood a shit job and a new mob just trying to surround yourself with the brightest and you all went to each others’ shows and openings and readings and parties and you had a scene on which to preen on your knees at the feet of Thou Mightest and year by year it became more and more clear that all your expensive sensibilities and sensitivity they weren’t helping you along in the slightest but you kept on believing as basic as breathing even as your plans began to fall through as if the spotlight was following you it’s all that kept you getting up kept you keeping up kept you pulling away and now the skies are drying up have you had enough will you walk off right into the grey and all your friends from way back when are moved on, married, marks being made and feeling safe and a few of them still call without being baited and all those other people you looked down upon and made fun of for all those years well they still don’t care about the worlds you’ve created and off and on you find yourself wondering about the ones before you and just how was it they found themselves beloved by the ones they berated and were you fated for crashing and will they sift through your ash and find the diamonds you had hiding from their view cause the spotlight was never following you

the late shift was letting out
 we were on the sidewalk talking and smoking
 just one glance at the look of you
 right then I knew it was no time for joking
 you said when there's a pissing contest at the top of the heap
 it's the people underneath get the soaking and you watched me get on my guard
 as a man shuffled up with a shopping cart
 he asked me for a drag and you dragged out three for free! I was walking home from your hotel room
 you were moving on to Seattle 
I was watching the rain roll in over the hills
 like the haze blowing in from a battle
 and would I be leading one last charge
 now that I was back in the saddle? The storm broke in middle of the bridge and I got soaked to my last stitch 
and I wondered who it was yeah I wondered who was up on top of this pile? 
on the fourth of July
 they set fire to the hillside
 with Roman candles and fountains
 on the fourth of July 
they set fire to the hillside and pour it out with their cold ones they’re turning smoke into vapor such a great imitator don't we all feel so much safer now the fire’s gone out we were out back in the garage it was hot, we were tonic and ginning
 I said like that ballerina silhouette no one knows which way I am spinning
 right then and there you grabbed your maul 
and smashed the lawn chair to kindling I gasped and jumped up, inspired
 we ran outside and built a fire might as well have been under my own ass cause I stopped spinning my wheels and I've been sprinting ever since just trade your smokes in for vapor it’s the ultimate flavor and won’t you feel so much safer once the flames are put out?